Pfour Pfantasy Leagues at your Pfinger Ptips.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Ich Bin Ein Esteban German

Ich Bin Ein Esteban German: Rank ? of 9, AL only.
From the Don't Sleep On It (?) File:
B.J. Upton (2b, Tmpa.) is up on his hit disk so far. Ich Bin Ein E.G. took Upton late in the draft, offered him up for another late pick in Gil Meche (SP, Ka.C.) and was verbosely rebuffed, 'too many 3b.' Now Tmpa. is calling up 2006 Mexican Athlete of the Year (MAOY) Jorge Cantu (2b/3b, Tmpa.) while starting 3b Akinori Iwamura (ibid) hits the list, ie Upton is Mr. 2b. Tampa Bay: best fake team ever.

McNaughtly: Rank ? of 12.
From the Best Fake Team Ever (?) File:
Psych. The best fake team ever is Alex Rodriguez (3b, the NYY). Ich Bin Ein E.G. drafted Johan Santana (SP, Minn.) ahead of Rod, but for the record:
1. Vlad Guerrero (OF, Ana.)
2. J.S. (Minn.)*
3. Carl Crawford (Tmpa.)
4. Rod (the NYY)
*Denotes Ich Bin Ein E.G. pick
Note A: Felix Hernandez (SP, Sea.) lost 20lbs on a (brown?) rice diet during the winter. McNaughlty suspects a return his preexisting diet of airplane food and road kill led to his current listed disability. Attn. Adrian Beltre (3b, LAD '04): get the man a pot and some water.
Note B: Members of the faculty and staff include
1. Peavy, Jake
2. Halladay, Roy
3. Lilly, Ted
4. Escobar, Kelvim
5. Lohse, Kyle$
6. Wagner, Bill
7. Boner, Papel
8. Lincecum, T. %
$Denotes name not pronounced as spelled
%Denotes name not known how to be pronounced, player is currently in minors, and player will be equivocally scrutinized and lauded by McNaughlty throughout season.
Note C: Next stop for the Aaron Hill (2b/ss, Tort.), Upton, Chris Duncan (OF, Cards.), Curtis Granderson (OF, Detr.), and Ryan Church# (OF, D.C.) train?
#Denotes that any time a player is removed from a game for not trying something worse will happen sometime, but that he hasn't hit a home run since Apr. 14 is disrespectful enough for McNaughtly.

The Ogdenville Nine: Rank ? of 10
From the Life is Good File.
League Name: White sox suck, Twins 4 Life
J.S. (SP, Minn.) is the face, arm, stomach, and finger-in-your-eye of The Ogdenville Nine; they took him with the number #1 pick in the draft.
Other Team Names in League: Johan Santana Rocks, Michigan Tigers, minnesota twinkies, mn twinkies.
Keep in Mind: The Ogdenville Nine is out of L.A. We love it!
Add, The Good Life - Justin Morneau (1b, Minn.) is on 1st for The O. Nine. These people are cold and envious.
From the Set of Aces Dept.
1. J.S.
2. Lackey, John (P, Ana.)
3. Hamels, Cole (P., Phi.)
4. Harden, Rich (P., Oak.)
Advanced Admin. Note: 120 max starts limits pitchers. One strategy 'apparently' is load up with RP and augment ERA and WHIP of two top-line SP. Ogdenville Nine prefers the 3/4 ace approach. Which is why The O. Nine is ranked ? of 10. But . . . .

Frankie Five Angels: Rank ? of 10, Hd/Hd
From the Three Quick Things File:
A. Scott Kazmir (P, Tmpa.) will utilize a due string of non-coddled, non-v. they NYY starts.
B. Akinori Otsuka (RP, Txs.) was not like milk on a so-damn-hot day.
C. Orlando Hudson (2b, Ariz.) will flirt with .400 this yr, no? no?
Say a prayer for the morning after Nick Swisher (OF/1b, OSU) pulls a hammy the day after he goes deep on two occasions.

1. Keep/Drop considerations for each league (i.e. Aaron Hill v. J.J. Hardy v. Orlando Hudson v. David Dejesus, etc.).
2. Andrei Kirilenko 2005-06 stat line of the night.
3. Review of today's starters.

Today's starters:
Ich Bin Ein: Daniel Cabrera (Orl.) v. Bos.
McNaughlty: Jake Peavey (SD) @ Ariz.; Ted Lilly (Chub.) v. Mil.
The O. Nine: John Lackey (Ana.) v. Tmpa.
Frankie Five: A.j. Burnett (Tor.) v. the NYY

More to come.

Author's Note

Ich Bin Ein Esteban German (AL)
The Ogdenville Nine (10man)
McNaughlty (12man)
Frankie Five Angels (Hd/Hd)